I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
