We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
