BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
