She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize