Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
