i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
