where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want to make a zoo with you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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