this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
