Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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