Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
