Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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