She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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