Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
