I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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