I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
