I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Randomize
