The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
