Small penises have feelings too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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