I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
