so explain again why im purple
no
This girl is more easily done than said...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize