Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
