Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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