He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
