I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
