finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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