Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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