I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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