take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
