Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
