can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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