We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
