The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize