My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize