i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
