if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So much rum. So many feels.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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