OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
