wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
