So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
