nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
