help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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