In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
