I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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