I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
