I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize