Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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