Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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