It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
where am i from again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
