I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sex in a hospital.. check
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
