she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
