I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
