I faked an abortion last night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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