Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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