She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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