I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
