is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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