just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize