how can u be prego again
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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