is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
