No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
