Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
